Photograph by Adam Rosenberg
Dear Mr. President,
I dread this time of the month. No, not the time where blood comes out of my “wherever.” The time when I committed to writing you this letter, and I have to face reality and dig through the news stories I spend most of my time avoiding. I know I should pay close attention, but I just can’t. It’s too overwhelmingly depressing. So when I was slogging through the piles of digital dung your administration trails across the internet, I found a glimmer of hope in what feels like your endless term in office. Time Magazine online quoted Representative Ted Lieu of California as saying, “All Americans, regardless of party, agree on the fundamental principle that no one is above the law, and if President Trump were to fire Deputy Attorney General Rosenstein, and then got special counsel Mueller fired, I believe Congress would begin impeachment proceedings.” This comes after you tweeted about being persecuted in a “witch hunt.”
Impeachment proceedings! Don’t toy with my emotions, Mr. Lieu. I’ve been waiting to hear these words ever since you drew “the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration, period, both in person and around the globe,” according to Sean Spicer. As a part of this letter writing campaign, we are to give you actionable advice. But I think you’ve made it crystal clear through your actions that you don’t take anyone’s advice.
So I will ask that you continue spiraling out of control and if you’re feeling sassy, which you generally are, go ahead and fire Rosenstein and Mueller. Please, put the final nail in the impeachment coffin for the good of the world. Because your actions in office affect people far beyond our borders, and I think globally it’s pretty unanimous. We are all pretty sick of this covfefe.