Image from the Courier Journal
Dear Democratic Party,
I’m liberal. I always have been. And like many liberals, I’m stubborn about taking the moral high ground. But recently, I’ve had a change of heart regarding Trump’s number one campaign promise, and I’m writing to you to in hopes of changing your minds and coming on board with me.
I think we should go ahead and give the egomaniac his wall. Yes, I realize that it will be a colossal waste of tax payer money. It will not help secure our borders—the drug dealers it’s meant to keep out prefer tunnels. And it will very likely cause irreparable damage to the ecological balance of the Sonoran Desert.
However, it will also create some short-term jobs. People will earn money. That has to be good for the country, right? And the $18 billion price tag won’t be paid on the first day, so really, the money won’t be going anywhere.
Oh, you just noted that I qualified “jobs” as being “short-term.” Well, duh. Every intelligent person knows that it will be years, YEARS, before any real construction can begin.
There are 1,900 miles to cover, people. Somewhere around 700 miles already have some sort of barrier in place—this began in 2006 with the Secure Fence Act. At the same time, Trump was hoping for the real estate market to crash and announced, big surprise, that he likes nepotism. However, much of the remaining 1,200 miles cuts through privately owned property. Texan property. Eminent domain aside, the Trump Administration should prepare for a battle. Remember the Alamo?
So, yes, years and years before the wall can be built. In the meantime, surveyors, assayers, transportation specialists—you can’t just drive anywhere in the Sonoran Desert—guides, and a slew of both technical and non-technical workers will be hired. And the logistics: hotels, restaurants, service providers—I see no end to the possibilities.
But most importantly, dear Democratic Party, think what giving the wall to Trump will do for you. DACA, for one. I would caution to not cede to Trump the entire wall in one fell swoop, give him just enough until we need something else from him. Keep it dangling under his nose like a carrot.
And while he’s bragging about how big his wall is with his tiny, tiny hands, maybe he’ll be distracted and not do anymore damage to the country. Even if his term lasts a full four years, he will never see the wall’s completion because, as soon as we retake our government, we can begin the dismantling of his policies and his wall.