Select Page

Image from LoveThisPic

Mr. President,

In honor of it being the first Halloween of your presidency, I thought we could gauge your threat level (as measured in # of jack-o-lanterns) on various topics.  Shall we?

Topic #1:

I was pleasantly surprised to see that a federal judge overturned part of your transgender military ban, on the basis that it was a policy that does not seem “to be supported by any facts”, and that ending the current policy would have significant “negative effects on the military.”

Your tweet:


Nothing from you today on this (#sad), but given that the military had no intention of enforcing this policy and that this judge exposed you as a source of fake news on transgender persons in the military, my guess is this is not going to make you happy.

Threat level: 3 terrifying jack-o-lanterns

Topic #2:

I sadly wasted four minutes of my day watching Sarah Huckabee-Sanders explain via parable why rich people need more money.  Oh, Donald.  You should fire someone over this.  I’m sure it was not poor Sarah who wrote this parable, so let’s save her, but please, heads must roll.  The premise is a riot:  Suppose that every day ten people, for our purposes we’ll say reporters, go out for beer. The bill for all ten comes to $100.  Just stop there.  How much do you think reporters make?  You know that newspapers are dying, right?  And yet they go out every day and spend $100?  Is this some chic bar in New York or DC?  Because I can tell you it takes a lot of Bud Light (#1 beer in America) to get to $100.  That’s approximately five cases for 10 people – 12 cans a DAY for each of our (very soused) reporters!   Is this really the example you want to use to explain our “broken” system to the country?  Sorry…got sidetracked there.

The punchline of the parable is that a 20% reduction in beer cost – now an $80 bill – will benefit the richest reporter (Ha!) the most in terms of raw dollars, but the low and middle-class reporters the most in terms of % gained.  That this is “fair.”  Ok, I’ll give her this. Unfortunately though she glosses over the most important point – the bar is screwed!  Who covers the $20 the bar is generously giving up?  You do understand that the “bar” in this story is the government, right?  You see, tax cuts are relatively easy to agree upon, it’s how to pay for them that’s the problem.  And it is in this conundrum that we see yet another one of your initiatives going down the drain.

Your tweet:


Sadly, you don’t seem to get it either.  The Republicans know that you have to pay for tax cuts, not rely on promises of unicorns and fairy dust.

Threat Level: 6 terrifying jack-o-lanterns

Topic #3:

And finally, on the top of mind of many today is the smoke (and fire?) emerging from the Robert Mueller’s probe into your campaign’s connection to Russia.   Seems as if one of the early members of your National Security team has plead guilty to giving a false statement to the FBI regarding his connections with Russian contacts, connections he made after he joined your campaign. Whoops!

Your tweet:


You seem to confuse “low level” with “member of National Security team.” You are seemingly angry as you are pointing the finger at the DEMS (again).  This could very, very bad for you.

Threat Level: 10 terrifying jack-o-lanterns

Happy Halloween!




Pin It on Pinterest

Share This