Select Page

Photograph by Jose Manuel Escarcega

Dear Mr. President,

It must be getting awfully lonely in the White House. Bannon’s out, with nobody being particularly sad about it, least of all you, but he’s far from the only one. Priebus, Scaramucci, Spicer—the list goes on and on. You haven’t even bothered to fill many of the positions and the ones you have filled are dropping like flies. Maybe you should follow suit.

Hear me out: Bannon is clearly undermining you, and he’s doubtlessly going back to his propagandizing ways. He’s not your friend anymore, and he’s liable to contribute to the fracturing of the coalition that got you into office in the first place. Your approval ratings are already abysmal; how much worse is it going to get if your once-solid base starts cannibalizing itself? That doesn’t look good for 2020, and we all know how you feel about losers. The longer you stick around and the closer it gets to that next election, the more you’re going to look like someone who doesn’t want to face the voters again if you step down.

So get while the getting’s good. Throw up your hands and proclaim that you can’t work under these conditions. Blame the Republicans in Congress, blame the Democrats, the media, anyone and everyone other than yourself. It’s what you’re best at after all. Resign now and you can save face and enjoy watching Pence try to pick up the pieces—you’ll probably look, well, maybe not good, but at least not so bad in comparison. You can get back to enjoying your golf courses without people poking you about some crisis or another or questioning your use of taxpayer money. Tell yourself that you’re making the smart move and you can still feel good about yourself.

It’s only going to get worse from here on out, and you don’t want to be the only one left in the White House when a real crisis hits.



Pin It on Pinterest

Share This